Week One Down.....

Okay, so week one of my challenge with my mom is down. I think I did pretty good. There were several days that I walked two miles. For me, that is a feat in itself because I haven't walked that far in the 2 years since I broke my leg and ankle. I would be lucky if I could walk 1/2 a mile without being in pain and my leg killing me for the next week.

My mom got me hooked on the last season of The Biggest Loser. I'm glad that I watched this one. There were two sisters, Olivia and Hannah, competing who made it all the way to the end. I kept cheering for Hannah because a lot of what she had to say, I saw in my own self. Several times, she had said that she wanted to lose the weight because she was tired of feeling like she was invisible or like she didn't matter.


Olivia and Hannah at the start of the Biggest Loser 11 Season

Hannah soon became someone that I looked up too. She was funny and she had the same feelings I felt about being invisible or not feeling good enough.


Hannah after the end of the season


Olivia at the end of the season

I know that I don't have as much weight to lose as the contestants on the Biggest Loser. But I know that I need to lose the weight that I have so I'm lessening my chances of get diabetes or cancer-two things that run on both sides of my family. After this first week, I've been eating less, trying to eat better, healthier things. I notice that I'm starting to feel a little bit better about myself, slowly. I've lost a few pounds our come out about even. Until next time!

In Memory, In Honor, In Celebration

9/11 is a day that will live in our minds for many, many years to come. Most of us can remember where we were or what we were doing that day. I was a freshman at Pratt Community College. I had just got to my 9:30 theater arts class when one of my classmates came in and told us that she had just heard about it on the radio on her way to class. My cousin Kyle was planning to move to NYC in a few weeks.

2,819 people were killed that day. Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, sons, daughters, cousins, friends were killed in one of the worst acts our country has ever seen. 343 firefighters and EMS personnel were killed that day. For me, that hits very close to home. My father has been a firefighter for over 30 years. That's longer than I've been alive. Many of the firefighters at the fire department where my dad works have become like fathers and brothers to me. I have also become friends with several of the EMS staff.


My dad

September 11, 2010 my youngest brother was married. There were some people who criticized my brother and sister-in-law for getting married that day. Their reply was always simple. Yes, something very bad happened that day. Today, we'll remember those who lost their lives and loved ones, but also celebrate a new life too. I think that's all we can do. Remember, honor, and celebrate the lives of those we lost and also of those that made it. For all of the families that lost someone that day, my heart goes out to them.


My brother and his wife September 11, 2010

Learning to Love Me

The other day, I was looking through some papers I had saved from years ago when I was in high school. For some reason, I had saved a Nike ad I'd seen in a magazine. I think I saved it for the person I am right now. The ad starts off by saying, "Will she look at magazines and think she has to be as thin as the models she sees? Think that independence makes her less desirable? Lower her expectations because she can't find women to look up too?" On the other side of the page, it goes on to say, "Will she grow up questioning the things we don't? Will she be confident enough that these issues don't bother her at all? If she plays sports, if she's healthy and strong and self assured, they won't. Being active in your life, in the lives of other women and in the lives of generations of women to come. Fight the things you don't want to live with. Talk about the things that bother you. Ask why it has to be that way. Then change it."


This is me in 2006 at my youngest brothers graduation reception. I think I actually look in this picture.

For years, I have flipped through the pages of magazines and watched a lot of movies. I've seen all of the beautiful looking women pass before my eyes. Many times before I even realize what I'm doing, I catch myself thinking, "Why can't I look like that? Why can't I be tall, thin and beautiful too?"

Growing up, I never had a weight problem. As a child, I was always small, skinny. Once I hit middle school, I gained some weight and filled out. I was very, very awkward at this age and I hated it. By my senior year in high school, I was looking good but I still didn't have the greatest sense of self-esteem. At 18 years old, I was average, normal, not too skinny and not overweight. It wasn't until about age 24 or 25 that I really started gaining the weight. In the last 4 or 5 years, I put on about 50 lbs. At my heaviest, I peaked at 183 lbs. I look back at pictures of myself in the last few years; embarrassed and ashamed at how I look. Looking like this, how could any guy ever notice me or love me? How could I ever love me?

One afternoon, I was texting a guy I met through work. I'll call him Eli because I think he looks kind of like the lead singer of the Eli Young Band. Anyways, I've liked this guy for months. I never said anything to him because I was afraid he'd laugh at me, quit talking to me, or that he could never be interested in this fat girl. At one point in our conversation, I mentioned that most guys don't notice me. The one's that do either look at me like their little sister or just a friend. Eli tells me he doesn't know any of my friends and I can't be seen as someone's best friend and we're obviously not related so I couldn't be his sister. I asked him why I couldn't be someone's best friend. He told me he didn't see me like that; that I was definately friendly. I asked him if I was just there, basically another person to talk too. He replied that I had it all wrong. He went on to say, "You said guys didn't notice you. I do. Cute little smile, obviously flirting with me for half an hour. I'm surprised that you think I wouldn't notice that."

I kept thinking to myself, "Wow, this good looking guy noticed me." Later on, I was hoping he didn't notice or realize that I wasn't skinny or drop dead gorgeous. I was also hoping he wasn't thinking I was some kind of loser and laughing at me. But I've gotten to know that he's not a jerk that would laugh at me. He's one of the nicest people I've ever met.

In the two weeks since our conversation, I decided I didn't want to be the self proclaimed awkward, fat ugly girl anymore. I want to be someone I liked, respected; to be the best person I knew how to be. My mom and I have a challenge in place. It's more for my benefit because my mom is already skinny and beautiful. My goal is to get back to what I looked like in high school. I want to learn how love myself. I want to be able to look into my bathroom mirror and say with confidence to myself, "Damn, I look good."


This is me and my friend April. This was taken in March of 2010. I had just lost a total of 25 lbs. My secret? Severely breaking my leg/ankle and getting my tonsils out within 4 months of each other. I really don't recommend that weight loss plan. It worked, but it was very painful.

Pink's song, "Perfect" keeps getting stuck in my head. I feel like there is someone that is actually telling me I'm perfect or good enough like I am, even when I don't think that about myself. It's been a good motivator for me.

P.S. Mom, I love you. Thanks for pushing me when I needed it, especially when I didn't want to be pushed.

P.S.S. I'm so glad no one saw me writing this. There were tears; lots of them. If you only knew the guts it took for me to even write this.....

Family of Cooks

My mom's family (my grandma and my mom's siblings. Sorry if the picture is blurry)

I have a lot of great cooks in my family as I'm sure a lot of people probably do. Both of my grandma's were farmers wives, so you know there had to be some good cooking going on in their kitchens. They passed that ability to cook on to their kids who passed it on to me, my siblings, and my cousins.


My siblings and me with my grandparents on my dad's side. Again, sorry if the picture comes out blurry.....

As a kid, I remember going to my grandma and grandpa Heiman's house. Grandpa would be out working in the field, in the big shed, or working with cattle. My sibliings and I would be inside with grandma. About once a month, we'd crawl up onto her countertops and she'd let us put the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies into the mixing bowl. Whenever she would turn around, we would sneak a taste of the cookie dough. She also made some of the most fabulous homemade pies I've ever tasted. My grandparents had a few cherry trees next to their garden and they usually got a lot of apples from some trees they had elsewhere. Grandpa would take us outside with a gallon ice cream bucket. Once it was full, we'd take it inside to where grandma would make a pie or two from what we had picked. Her apple cake and her spaghetti were also some of my favorite things that she made a lot.

At my other grandparent's house, anytime there is a get together, it looks like there is a feast for a small army set up in the basement kitchen. Every inch of counter space is used plus a board that has been set up along the wall to accomodate all the food. If the entire Heinen family would get together, there would be well over 85 people crammed into my grandma's tiny basement. So you can only imagine all of the good food that awaits when it's time to eat. You don't go home hungry.

My aunt Jeannie is a big fan of Paula Dean. She's even met her. Jeannie has put together a few cookbooks (which I have and they are wonderful!) with contributions from family and friends. I'm a really big fan of Ree Drummond. She is the Pioneer Woman Cooks.... Her cookbook is amazing. I really hope she comes out with another cookbook because I know I'd want to try everything in it. Which is probably not good coming from a girl who needs to drop 30-50 pounds. Can you tell I love food just a little bit????? But that's another time.....

Ugly Dip

Do not let the name of this dip fool you. This dip is very addictive. Make this dip, and you won't want to share it with anyone. My sister makes this for almost every family get together at our mom's house. When it is taken out of the fridge, we hover around it like flies. Yep, it's that good. It was found in our aunt Jeannie's second cookbook that she put together.

1 cup mayonnaise
1 cup shredded cheese
1 (16 oz) can white corn, drained
1 (10 oz) can Rotel tomatoes and green chillies, undrained
1 (8 oz) container sour cream

Combine all ingredients and serve with tortilla chips (also goes great with Fritos)

Marie's Green Been Dumpling Soup

I got this recipe from my friend Marie. She said that when she was younger, her mother and grandmother taught her how to cook. I can't remember if it was her grandmother or her mother-in-law that taught her this recipe, but the first time Marie made this one weekend when I was at her house, it became an instant favorite of mine.

Peel and dice 3 potatoes. Put in in a large pan and fill about halfway with water. Boil 10 minutes and add 1 tablespoon chicken soup base and dumplings to boiling water. Cook another 10 minutes. Add 2 cans strained French cut green beens and a pint of cream (1/2 and 1/2). Cook another 5 minutes and serve.

Dumplings:
2 heaping cups of flour
1 tsp of salt
2 eggs

Mix together and then add a little bit of water at a time and keep stirring until a dough forms.

Cooking Adventures....

In the last few years, I've found that it's very hard to cook for just one person when there are so many wonderful things I want to try making. Recently, I started going through my stack of cookbooks to find different things to try. I marked each thing I hope to eventually make. Right now, I'm going through Ree Drummond's "The Prairie Woman Cooks". I have not been disappointed at all. She has some amazing recipes. Her recipe for Perfect Pot Roast has been my favorite so far.







I've also made the Chicken Fried Steak and gravy. I was so proud of myself on this one because I had never made gravy from scratch before. My dad has said for years how if we ever learned anything in cooking, was to learn how to make gravy and not from the little package. He seemed pretty excited when I told him I actually made gravy!




I hope to find more things to try and to be able to share more of my cooking adventures.

Mama Stoffel's Party Mix

I got this recipe from a friend of mine. Her mom had created it and made it a lot when my friend was younger. The first time I had this at my friends house, I found myself not being able to stop eating this tasty mix and asked for the recipe before I left that night. I've made it at my house a few times and it goes quickly.

Pretzels
Cheezits
Peanuts
Popcorn
1-2 packets powder ranch mix
1-2 cups vegetable oil

Mix vegetable oil and ranch mix in a bowl. Pour over ingredients in a large bowl. Mix/shake well. Let sit for approximately 12 hours to let oil/flavor set in.

Mel and Mom's Coleslaw

This is a recipe that my mom and my sister Melissa concocted on their own. Well, mom had a few coleslaw recipes that she liked and together with my sister, they created this one. I'm not a huge coleslaw fan, but I love this recipe! In my opinion, it's better than KFC coleslaw. Just sayin'....

1 (16 oz) pkg coleslaw mix
3/4 cup mayonnaise
1/3 cup sour cream
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp ground mustard
1/4 tsp celery salt
2 T vinegar (if you prefer a tangy taste)

Mix all together and serve.

Rae's Potatoes

My youngest sister brought these to a get together at my house a few years ago and they were gone within 10 minutes. So yummy!

8 potatoes boiled and cut up into pieces
2 cups ranch dressing
2 cups sour cream
bacon bits or real bacon cut into pieces

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes. Add shredded cheese and put in for another 10 minutes or until cheese is melted.

Great for any get together!

Huntington Chicken

This recipe is a family favorite at my mom's house. One year for Christmas, she made 2 casserole dishes of this. One for my brother Adam and brother-in-law Shane and the second one for the other 9 people in the family. This is one dish that everyone in the family likes and will ask for.

Huntington Chicken

2 cups diced, cooked chicken
1 cup boiled potatoes
1 cup elbow macaroni, cooked
1 cup Velveeta cheese cut up in cubes (or use whatever cheese you have)
salt and pepper
1 can cream of chicken soup
1/2 cup milk

Mix together and sprinkle with corn flakes or crushed crackers (optional). Bake at 350 degrees for 35 minutes in casserole dish.

I hope you and your family enjoy this as much as my family does.